On sunflower lanyards, accessible cards, panic attacks in crowds — and how I found my way back to the things I love.
There was a point — not long after major abdominal surgery — where the idea of standing in a crowd of strangers felt completely impossible. Not scary in an abstract way. Impossible. My body had been through something enormous, and the version of me that used to turn up to festivals, dance at gigs, and catch trains without a second thought had just… disappeared.
I’d developed severe anxiety. Panic attacks. A constant, low hum of dread about being caught short in a queue, about being too far from a toilet, about having to explain myself to a stranger who didn’t understand. The fear of the fear became its own problem. I stopped going out. I stopped planning things. I started saying no to almost everything.
If any of that sounds familiar — whether you’re mid-treatment, post-surgery, or just trying to figure out who you are on the other side of a stage 4 diagnosis — this one’s for you.
The sunflower lanyard changed things more than I expected
The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower is a simple yellow lanyard with a small sunflower print. It signals to trained staff that you might need a little extra help, patience, or understanding — without you having to say a single word.
That last part is what matters. I didn’t want to have to explain my cancer, my surgery, my bowel, or my anxiety to every ticket checker, security guard, or queue manager I encountered. The lanyard does the talking for me. It removes the decision of whether to disclose. For someone whose confidence had taken a serious hit, that felt like an enormous relief.
Airports were where I noticed it most. Getting caught in a long security queue was one of my biggest anxieties — the unpredictability of it, the inability to leave, the fear of urgency striking at exactly the wrong moment. With the sunflower lanyard, airport staff can offer assistance, expedited processing, or just a bit of extra awareness. It doesn’t guarantee anything, but it opens a door. And sometimes that’s all you need — to know the door exists.
You can pick up a free sunflower lanyard at most major airports, many supermarkets, and some train stations. You don’t need proof of any condition. You just need it.
The Access Card: communicating your needs without having to say a word
Beyond the lanyard, I discovered something that took things a step further — the Access Card. Where the sunflower lanyard signals that you have a hidden need, the Access Card actually communicates what that need is, through a set of simple symbols printed on a photo ID card.
It translates your disability or condition into universally understood icons — things like needing to avoid queues, needing toilet access, needing to sit down, or needing a companion. You hand it over or show it at the venue, and staff immediately understand what adjustments you might need, without you having to find the words or go into your medical history.
It works at thousands of events, attractions, and venues across the UK and beyond — and increasingly integrates with ticketing systems online, so you can unlock accessible options at the point of booking rather than having to explain yourself on the day. It costs just £15 for three years, and there’s also a companion app with a personalised venue directory showing accessibility information to help you plan ahead.
For me, the combination of sunflower lanyard and Access Card became a kind of toolkit. The lanyard opens the conversation silently. The card closes it — clearly, quickly, and without me having to manage anyone else’s reaction to what I’m going through.
👉 Apply for your Access Card at accesscard.online — £15 for 3 years.
Flying: planes, boarding, and sitting where you actually need to sit
Flying used to feel completely out of reach for me. Being locked inside a metal tube with no control over when you can move, no easy access to facilities, and a queue to board that stretches back forever — it triggered every anxiety I had.
What helped was learning that airlines actually have more support in place than most people realise, and that you have to ask for it before you fly — not at the gate in a panic.
Many airlines — including easyJet, British Airways, Ryanair, and others — allow passengers with hidden disabilities or medical needs to board early. Early boarding isn’t just about comfort. It’s about getting settled without the crush of a full plane behind you, stowing your bag without having to fight for overhead space, and not being the person holding everything up because your body is unpredictable.
Seat selection is equally important. A lot of airlines will waive seat reservation fees for passengers who need to sit near the front of the plane or close to the toilets for medical reasons. You usually need to contact the airline’s accessibility team directly — not just tick a box online — and explain your situation briefly. In my experience, a short, clear explanation gets a kind response and a seat moved without fuss.
Contact the airline’s accessibility or special assistance team before you travel — not at check-in. Ask specifically about early boarding and a complimentary seat near the toilets. Most airlines have a dedicated phone line or email for this. It’s a lot easier than it sounds, and the relief of having it sorted in advance is worth every minute of the phone call.
The RADAR key: unlocking toilets across the entire country
The RADAR National Key Scheme gives access to over 9,000 locked accessible toilets across the UK — in shopping centres, train stations, parks, motorway services, and high streets. These toilets are kept locked to protect them for people who genuinely need them. With a RADAR key, you just let yourself in. No asking. No explaining. No waiting for someone to find the right person with the right key.
For someone managing the unpredictability that comes with abdominal surgery or certain cancer treatments, this is not a minor thing. It is everything. Planning a route around accessible toilets is exhausting and limiting. Having a key that opens most of them across the country quietly removes that barrier entirely.
RADAR keys cost just a few pounds and are available to order online. Some charities and disability organisations provide them for free. There are also apps — including the Great British Public Toilet Map — that let you search for accessible toilets near you before you head out.
Glastonbury, Ticketmaster, and getting to gigs again
Big festivals can feel like the most inaccessible things imaginable when you’re unwell. Miles of walking. Unpredictable queues. Limited facilities. But the accessibility programmes at major events have genuinely improved — and they’re worth knowing about.
Glastonbury has a dedicated Accessible Tickets scheme for people with disabilities and long-term health conditions. The Accessibility Zone provides closer access, viewing platforms, quiet spaces, and accessible toilets. You apply in advance by registering your needs — and being upfront about what you require means the festival can actually support you properly. It’s not a lesser experience. It can actually be a better one.
Ticketmaster has an accessibility line and process for booking tickets with additional needs, including companion tickets for when you need someone with you. Many major venues accessed through Ticketmaster have their own accessibility teams and pre-arrival support processes. It’s worth calling ahead — not just buying online — because a real conversation means you can ask the specific questions that matter to you.
The people working accessibility desks at events have, in my experience, been some of the kindest people I’ve met. They’re not judging you. They’ve heard it all. You don’t need to minimise what you’re going through to deserve their help.
Starting small — and what that actually looks like
I didn’t go from post-surgical anxiety to a festival in one step. It took a long time. A coffee shop first. Then a short walk. Then a local market. Then a small gig at a venue I could leave easily if I needed to. Then day trips. Then hiking — cautiously, slowly, checking in with my body constantly.
Each small thing rebuilt a little bit of evidence that I could do it. That my body wouldn’t let me down. That the panic wasn’t prophetic. That I could ask for help if I needed to, and the world wouldn’t end.
I’m not going to pretend it was linear. There were setbacks. Days where I’d planned something and then couldn’t leave the house. Days where the anxiety won. But there were also days where it didn’t — and those are the ones I kept returning to when things got hard.
People genuinely want to help
This surprised me more than anything. I’d built up a story in my head that strangers would be impatient, dismissive, or annoyed by my needs. That asking for help was a burden. That my invisible illness wasn’t visible enough to be taken seriously.
That story was mostly wrong. Event staff, train conductors, festival volunteers, security teams, airline crew — when I used my lanyard, when I showed my Access Card, when I simply asked — people helped. Not every time. But far more often than I expected.
Schemes and resources worth knowing
- Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Lanyard — Free from most airports, supermarkets, and train stations. Or buy online from Amazon.com. No proof of condition needed.
- Access Card — Photo ID with access need symbols. £15 for 3 years. Works at thousands of venues and integrates with ticketing systems.
- RADAR Key — Unlocks 9,000+ accessible toilets across the UK. A few pounds to order online.
- Great British Public Toilet Map — App to find accessible toilets near you before you head out.
- Glastonbury Accessible Tickets — Register in advance for zone access, viewing platforms, quiet areas, and accessible facilities.
- Ticketmaster Accessibility Line — Dedicated booking support, companion tickets, and venue-specific assistance.
- Airline Special Assistance — Contact the accessibility team before travel (not at check-in) to request early boarding and a free seat near the toilets.
Your getting-out-there checklist
Things to put in place before your next trip or event:
Hidden disability
- Get a sunflower lanyard (free at most airports, supermarkets, train stations) or from online stores like amazon.com
- Apply for an Access Card at accesscard.online — £15 for 3 years, photo ID with access symbols
Toilets
- Order a RADAR key (available online for a few pounds)
- Download the Great British Public Toilet Map app
- Check accessible toilet locations before any trip or event
Flying
- Contact airline accessibility team before travelling (not at check-in)
- Request early boarding for hidden disability or medical need
- Ask for a complimentary seat near the toilets
- Wear your sunflower lanyard through the airport
Events and festivals
- Register for accessible tickets in advance (e.g. Glastonbury scheme)
- Call Ticketmaster accessibility line for companion tickets if needed
- Check venue accessibility info and map toilet locations beforehand
- Use your Access Card to unlock accessible booking options online where supported
Building back up
- Plan one small outing this week — somewhere you can leave easily
- Tell one person where you’re going so you don’t have to manage it alone
I started with a coffee shop. Then a short walk. Then a hike. Then a gig. It didn’t happen all at once. But it happened. And if you’re at the coffee shop stage right now — that’s enough. That’s the beginning.
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